35 Truths at 35

I turned 35 this year and there is a lot I have been reflecting on. I want to share some of what I believe to be true or realizations I have had that apply to different areas of my life. Some are emotional, some are just principles I’ve learned along the way. What are your truths? Which of these resonate most with you? Comment and let me know.

1. Time flies. Literally. When I was a kid, I never understood why adults kept repeating this all the time, like a song on repeat mode. But the older I get, the truer it becomes because every week, month and year feel like going by way to fast.
2. We only have today. I’m very guilty of procrastinating in all areas of my life. In my twenties, I used to think that one day I will arrive to that happy perfect place. Now I understand I make that happy perfectly “imperfect” place and life.  Every time I find myself saying “I’ll do it tomorrow”, I get up and do what needs to be done because I know that one day becomes two, and then a week, and then months… Otherwise I own it, I don’t want to do it and that’s it. If not now, when?
3. Adulthood sucks. Like many other little girls, I wanted to grow up really fast, be an adult, be independent, do what I wanted to do, and so on. Maybe because we saw adults as perfect happy creatures. But being an adult means many responsibilities; be in charge of your life and future, take care of your parents, make your love relationship work, raise kids, you name it. You suffer when things go wrong, when a love one suffers, when things do not go as planned…
4. Trust your guts. A lot has been said about it, but it is so true. You know it when you start going with your gut feelings and not with your head or other people think is best.
5.  A healthy lifestyle will make you look and feel younger and better longer. I look better today than I did five years ago. And there was no shortcut to it but discipline and work. Eat healthy 80% of the time and workout even when it is hard. A lot of people look great in their twenties, but that will only last with their lifestyle’s choices. Do you remember a girl with a perfect body and skin but now doesn’t look that great? Trust me on this.
6. Food restrictions and depriving diets do not work for me. When I am hungry, I get very very angry, I just cannot live like that. What works for me is #1 not to bring home the foods I know are not the best options (chips, ice-cream, KitKat, fried foods, etc.) because I will eat them. Out of sigh out of mind. And #2, educate myself about the effect of different foods in my body. That really has helped me made better food choices. Everything we eat has some type of effect in our bodies and hormones.
7. You cannot give what you do not have. I stopped feeling guilty about my blessings and accepting more. The more I have, the more I can give. This applies to all aspects of life.
8. You are your habits. If you don’t believe me, next time you take a shower, pay attention to the steps you take and the order you do them. Crazy right! Forming new habits is hard but it’s worthy.
9. Reading is key for personal growth. I am getting better at my reading’s habits and it’s something I work on. But let me tell you, every time I’ve picked up a book and read it, it is like that message I needed at that exact moment in my life. Remember, what you are going through now, someone already went through it and wrote about it.
10. Limit Social media consumption. Delete accounts that do not make you feel better about yourself.
11. Action is #1, Uno. Its pure magic. It opens doors, answers many questions, it gives you clarity, eliminates confusion. Think of something you really wanted and what happened when you took some type of actions to accomplish it.
12. You are your biggest motivation and motivator. Outside motivation is ephemeral. I’m going back to the working out example because this has been big for me this year. At the beginning of my fitness journey, I would find motivation on YouTube videos and Instagram accounts. But working out is hard, and painful and I prefer to sit in my couch. It was through my own body and mind transformation that I got fired up about getting off the couch and into workout action.
13.  I am a very emotional person even thought I may look tough. I hated to let other people know I was emotional and used to say I was very rational, but I am not. I now love it because what I used to think was my greatest weakness is my greatest asset. Only because of my emotions I’ve been able to do the things that are the most impactful in my life.
14. We can handle way more than you can imagine. This is true for all human beings.
15. What I hate the most are complaints and people complaining. I run away from this type of people. For real, the world is better today than it has ever been before with so much comfort and stuffs. Yet people complaint about every little unimportant thing.
16. There is not a perfect life but there are perfect moments. So, when they manifest, live them to the fullest. This can be as simple of sipping your coffee and relaxing, going on a dream vacation, enjoying your favorite pizza, getting your hair done, waking up late free of any worries, snowboarding, whatever is that makes you happy.
17. Women are powerful. And this is not a cliché. We really are. There is not a safest place or feeling than to be with the women in my life. I feel like nothing can hurt me.
18. Being authentic always wins; even when I thought it was not.
19. Traveling is my favorite hobby. Going places teaches more about humanity, cultures and people than 100 geography and history classes.
20. Be kind to everyone. You don’t know the battles they are fighting.
21. We are going to die. I know, like this was not true in my twenties or for anybody. But more than a fact of life, I really started to think about death and internalize it. You start to lose love ones, or they get ill, you see your first signs of again (OMG), you see younger family members grow up, and so on. This is not a bad thing, on the contrary, now I fear less, take more actions, and procrastinate less.
22. My definition of maturity is knowing things will be better tomorrow, you will feel better tomorrow, and you truly understand this. One example can be a fight with a love one. You can divorce them at the moment of the fight. But with experience, you know that unless something is fundamentally wrong, it will be fine. Another example can be your emotions or energy level. When I am feeling down or I have zero energy, I know that is temporary because I have felt really energized and uplifted before and it will repeat.
23. Don’t quit because a bad day. Remember my definition of maturity, it will all be alright.
24. Goals matter but they need a system to work out. Have systems with planned actions that move you forward. Remember a system is better than no system. They will ensure you achieve the bigger goals.
25.  Learn from others. It’s the best school.
26. Listening. As the saying goes, God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.
27. Jealousy is a feeling like any other. It's what you do about it that matters. I want to talk about it because we, as humans, can experience the good and the bad, and not to many people talk about the bad. If you happen to feel it, acknowledge it. It doesn’t mean to start talking bad about other people or hating but understanding it is a feeling and you are not going to let it take over and do things you will regret.
28. The happiest moments in life are with people. People make you laugh.
29.  Money is not good or bad, it is what you do with it. Pursue financial independence. Being financially secured means a worry-free life, taking care of my parents, travel the world, help people in need, whatever is that you want to achieve.
30. Character, integrity, taking ownership, are qualities not reflected in people’s resume. However, and in my opinion, they are more important than any technical or professional skill a person may have.
31. Conquering fears will make you feel such a badass. Do what you fear the most. Fears are your friends, not your enemy. They tell you when you are in the right or wrong path, depending on the situation.
32. Where you are at, is based on what you know up to this point.
33. Don’t worry about what other people think about you. They are thinking about themselves all the time. People have opinions, and opinions are not your reality.
34. I love solo time. I’m the most productive when I am by myself.
35. During the saddest, darkest times you can experience what feels the happiest ones. Now this is not true for everyone. When things are bad, any positive news or results no matter how small they are, feel like the best news ever. This is because what we took for granted at some point in our lives feels like luxury during these moments.

Wishing you and your love ones the best year ahead.

Love,

Inalvys